The Passing of my Nenek

My grandmother who was born in 1908 passed away last week, 14th may 2008. She was 101 years old, according to her I.C. All my life i had only known my grandmother, who was my mother's mother since both my father's parents had passed away long before i was born. my nenek was practically our surrogate parent since she lived close by, had always taken care of us when we were small and for the past 6 years had lived with us due to her illness.

my early memories of Puan Minah bt Hassan was her enterprising career as a businesswoman. she was an educated lady by her generation's standard because she could read and did her sums. she completed 3 years of school before quitting due to financial restrains. my father said she would have been a headmistress had she completed 2 more schooling years. this i took as a compliment to an old lady who was also my Quran teacher, not just mine but also other scores of children living in the squatters neighbourhood of Kg Konggo and later Bandar Tun Razak.

As far as businesses went, my grandmother had her finger in every pie, be it in the textile business, jewellery, electrical goods, furniture, cookwares and to the manufacturing and sales of of bedak sejuk. in the old days my mother and grandmother were involved in selling air batu campur, rojak, mee, tempe, cakar ayam, and many others. my nenek acted as the 'middle man' in most of her business. from her saving of early days, she started accumulated her wealth by buying the goods from a chinese man "Gemuk" at Taman Midah, and she paid Gemuk RM3,000.00 every month from her customers' installments. i was always astounded at how a good at the cost of RM100.00 can be doubled to RM200.00 because of 24 months installments! so my grandmother was my first exposure to trading.

of course my father always lifted his eyebrow at how my nenek conducted her business. my father always scared her off with the word 'riba' to which my nenek would just ignored. my nenek had a strained relationship with my father from the early days. her damaged relationship with my father had crossed a span of 30 or more years. they did not talk to each other amicably, as far as i could remember. there was a reason for this, a trivial one, which someone explained to me, but the existing gap between them was more habitual than reasonable. this of course took a twist for, to her last dying days when she stayed in our house, my father was the one who took care of her.

my siblings and i were her companions on her buying spree. i still remember the trips to Kuala Lumpur, that my grandmother took us by bus.. yeah, she wouldnt waste money on a taxi fare, we would go to jalan masjid India to get more stocks of kain batik, kain pelikat, kain pasang, pawned jewelleries, etc. my grandmother kept a detail account of her business which expanded to many volumes of buku hutang and she often would ask us if it was the time of the end of the month when she would start going around to her customers' houses to collect the installments. she walked by herself and entered the numbers diligently without fail. a remarkable and challenging job, which would make make most people surrender!

my grandmother had always had a strong mind of her own which translated into a strong streak of stubbornness. other than the fall out with my father, i couldn't recall any loving attention bestowed to her husband, my late grandfather and also to her own daughter, my mother. to her dying days my nenek was not on talking terms with my mother, in fact she vent her anger on my mother with vicious words and derogatory remarks because of some small mistakes.

my grandmother lived with us when she was diagnosed with hypertension, heart failure and had severe osteophorosis and sustained multiple bone problems and was unable to mobilise on her own. she occupied our living room with her things which she prohibited us to keep tidy, she refused cupboards or containers to keep her things, she just plain instructed us to leave her and her things alone.

my nenek adhered to a strict discipline of her own. every morning after her bath she would have her 'keepers' prepared her breakfast, read the newspapers and went to the market on her wheelchair, this was like her highlight of the day during which she would went around mixing with people, bought her food which she would later asked my parents to keep in the fridge. in the afternoon she would sleep and woke up only for meals, bath and prayers. she took all her medications on her own and she had never missed her doctors' appointments, not once! she had lost her hearing many years ago and for this reason, communication was almost non-existent with people around her. but she had stayed alert and still recognized all faces.

that was until 3 days later when she changed her habit, she did not sit up, did not move around, did not drink or eat. and after maghrib on 14th may i heard news from my sister saying that she passed away quietly in her sleep, no pain... just her last small breaths.... according to my father, she called out to my mother, may be showing her imminent departure from this world and she wanted her daughter closely by.

after a week nearly passed, when the newspaper man delivered our newspaper, we still remember the 'road block' for which we had to surrender the papers to my nenek first without fail. when we entered the house through the living room, we always saw her lying on her simple mattress either sleeping or seeing with her far off expression. i still could hear her arguments with my mum and my father. her litany of 'aku orang tua, dah nak mati, tak da sapa nak jaga... nak halau aku", etc and we took that as rumblings of an old stong minded stubborn woman.

quite frankly i miss my nenek.... one Minah bt Hassan, who finally joined her husband Mohd Latim bin Sulaiman and joined their early daughter Rohani in the hereafter. Al Fatihah...

Majlis Kesyukuran

Mak Nun and her friends, some of the guest turning up for the Yaasin recital.

Mak Nun and relatives in Ipoh helped us organized a thanks giving party (Majlis kenduri kesyukuran) at her house in Ipoh. i witnessed the truest sense of a community 'gotong royong' affair with pot luck dishes on the tables. kak yati, a single mother who was also a good friend of the family's was the chef and she cooked a mean chicken curry !

about 200 guests turned up on that bright and sunny day. it started off with a Yaasin recital and followed by the salawat to the prophet Muhammad. it was so hot, we were sweating so much and i was feeling lightheaded because of the heat and the crowd.

among the dishes were chicken curry, deep fried steamed fish, fried cabbage (veggie), fried beef pergedil, boiled ulam and fresh ulam with belacan paste, for desserts we had - deep fried spring rolls with sauce, banana cakes, cocktail pudding and watermelon. the drinks were iced-cold orange and grape cordials. we experimented a cocktail of orange-grape combi and it worked out fine too!

i loved the cooked ulam best and kak yati's sambal belacan was so hot it made my head spin! i also loved her pergedil which had always been my favourite dish. i applauded their 'bravery' in preparing the pergedil because it was a difficult dish to mass-produce. they had difficulty as expected, judging from the broken pergedil balls seen on the side trays. the rich, salty, hot and sweet dishes were a good combination when you completed it off with sweet tasting and fresh watermelons.

the whole packs were there including pak ta, mak yong, mak yang, mak yam and pak bab, auntie shima and pak in and many otehr relatives i couldnt get their names straight. mak nun made made some souvenirs with recycled plastic/artificial flowers and sent guests away smiling with goody bags in their hands.Auntie Shima and Mak Yam cutting the watermelons. we bought them at Pasar Jelapang at Rm1/per kg which was a very good deal indeed.


the kids were behaving themselves... what more could i ask? my gratitude to Allah for the blessings in my life.

we caught a bus to KB from kuala kangsar and since it was the first time we were there, Aam took us around to the morning market (i bought ikan pekasam and the famous rendang tok) and also losyen kurus and a magnetic bracelet which he laughed his heart out at!

the 3 photos below are pictures taken with my new Sony Ericsson PDA phone P1i with 3.2 megapixel resolution camera. i didnt realize i was closing my eyes though.

Aam with aiza and aidid at the riverfront in Kuala Kangsar


Aam standing in front of the Kuala kangsar mosque. i was sorting out the buttons of my camera phone and missed the scenic pictures of Istana Bukit Chandan

i think the flash of the camera left a lot to be desired. it didnt help that Aam has a dark complexion. Tall, dark and handsome - my man!